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what not to say in the bedroom

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  • #46
    pounces karma and nommms the ribbage


    that kind counds for gropping lol
    [/QUOTE] and Captain Kitty says.... "Oooooooh! You kinky bitch!" [/QUOTE]

    Originally posted by RazorJAK
    Yeah yeah, you're the type of girl who would be whispering "Safewords are for quitters." in my ear. :-P
    http://www.zazzle.com/shalla/

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    • #47
      Couple more

      "There is no orifice there."
      "Please stop doing that with your big toe."
      "Knowing love, I can allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and to face all things with great courage. My heart is a open as the sky."

      http://nimue-amethyst.deviantart.com

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      • #48
        "How many hands do you have?"
        When I was fifteen, my father thought I knew nothing. When I was twenty-five, I was amazed by how little he thought I'd learned in such a long time.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by sableagle View Post
          "How many hands do you have?"
          That one reminded me of one of those comedy sex techniques called the Paradox or something.

          Baisically you're going at it from behind making sure you're looking out the window, then you pull out and get replaced by another and while they're going you walk past the window, clothed or not.
          I doubt it'd work, but the concept is funny.
          Headbutts,

          A sign of affection in Cats, Marines, and old school punks. - freiman

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          • #50
            I'm pretty sure that's a felonious conspiracy to commit rape.

            Anyway ...

            What not to say in the bedroom: "Leia ... I am your father."

            Anything along those lines is potentially bad.

            "Who's your daddy?!?"
            "You are, oh, you are!"
            "*ahem* Actually, I am."
            When I was fifteen, my father thought I knew nothing. When I was twenty-five, I was amazed by how little he thought I'd learned in such a long time.

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            • #51
              Originally posted by sableagle View Post
              I'm pretty sure that's a felonious conspiracy to commit rape.

              Anyway ...

              What not to say in the bedroom: "Leia ... I am your father."

              Anything along those lines is potentially bad.

              "Who's your daddy?!?"
              "You are, oh, you are!"
              "*ahem* Actually, I am."
              Or as Luke Skywalker would say
              "Im your brother, still wanna have sex?"
              and from that, "Incest is best!"
              Yep, Im a sick puppy.
              Originally posted by Originally Posted by RazorJAK
              Apple Butter and SHARP cheddar go together like Wenchie and Motorboat noises.

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              • #52
                Originally posted by sableagle View Post
                I'm pretty sure that's a felonious conspiracy to commit rape.
                Thats why we advise it not be used and merely read for the lulz.
                Headbutts,

                A sign of affection in Cats, Marines, and old school punks. - freiman

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                • #53
                  Another "for the lulz" one, the Rodeo:

                  Begin sex doggy-style.

                  Take a really firm hold on her hips.

                  Say: "Wow, you're almost as tight as your sister."

                  Hold on as long as you can.
                  When I was fifteen, my father thought I knew nothing. When I was twenty-five, I was amazed by how little he thought I'd learned in such a long time.

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                  • #54
                    Sable, there are so many worse versions of that same style.

                    HORRIBLY worse lol.

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                    • #55
                      And they usually involve pigtails.
                      "Knowing love, I can allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and to face all things with great courage. My heart is a open as the sky."

                      http://nimue-amethyst.deviantart.com

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                      • #56
                        I think "Not in the face!" and "You almost got it up my nose!" were the worst I've heard of or said...
                        Teacher- "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
                        Me- "In the kitchen making my husband a sandwich before he hits me again."
                        Classmate- "You're sick."
                        Me- "Gee, thanks!"

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                        • #57
                          The angry pirate
                          First when you're about to finish, pull out kick her in the shins and shoot in her eye.
                          She'll be hopping around on one leg, blind in one eye and swearing like a Pirate!
                          Headbutts,

                          A sign of affection in Cats, Marines, and old school punks. - freiman

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                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Plunder Down-Under View Post
                            The angry pirate
                            First when you're about to finish, pull out kick her in the shins and shoot in her eye.
                            She'll be hopping around on one leg, blind in one eye and swearing like a Pirate!
                            That was made illegal by the Ocular Penetration Act of 2007


                            "See? That right there is why I check your vagina for traps every time we're about to have sex."

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                            • #59
                              Originally posted by Wenchie View Post
                              Or as Luke Skywalker would say
                              "Im your brother, still wanna have sex?"
                              and from that, "Incest is best!"
                              Yep, Im a sick puppy.
                              Gotta try everything once, except incest and folk dancing.


                              Well... actually I've done one of those... oops.
                              Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by Wenchie View Post
                                Or as Luke Skywalker would say
                                "Im your brother, still wanna have sex?"
                                and from that, "Incest is best!"
                                Yep, Im a sick puppy.
                                I think I'll confront Vader first.


                                "See? That right there is why I check your vagina for traps every time we're about to have sex."

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