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What not to say in the bedroom

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  • What not to say in the bedroom

    I wear a size 15.5 ring. Monster hands is something that has actually come in the bedroom. And in the living room. And at school. And in the clinic...

  • #2
    what not to say in the bedroom:
    "Sorry I need to throw up"


    • #3
      "Sam, I think this one's coming round. Get the stuff."


      " ... *click*click*click* s l e e p i n g - g i r l f r i e n d s . c o m / u p l o a d . h t m l ... *click* ... *click*click* ... "
      When I was fifteen, my father thought I knew nothing. When I was twenty-five, I was amazed by how little he thought I'd learned in such a long time.


      • #4
        "You need this more than me" (hands her a plastic bag).
        "Nothing in life is impossible. It is scientifically and mathematically complex." - Me.

        Don't want the unmentionables munch on your unmentionable?

        Madmen of Dementia. Available for Purchase @ $0.99 (limited time only 6.3 to 6.6)!


        • #5
          "Wait, who are you?"


          • #6
            "Oooo-ooo... Donuts..."

            "Uhm... exactly how old are you?"

            Phrases I've said in the bedroom.
            This is my idea of exercise


            • #7
              *Dunulun dunulun dunulundun dun! Dunulun dunulun dunulundun dun! Dunulun dunulun dunulundun dun! Dunulun! Dunulundadun!"
              (Rossini's William Tell Overture)
              That one got me a black eye...


              • #8
                Recently discovered: Rochelle in Left 4 Dead 2 has a library of these.

                "Thanks to you guys, I am the baddest woman alive!"
                "We're really doin' it! Wooo-hooooo!"
                "Oh, thank God. I thought I was the only woman left on Earth."
                "I think we should keep that door closed."
                "In here! This room looks safe."
                "Don't even start."
                "Anything for a brother."
                "No problem, Shorty."
                "Here, I'm givin' this to you."
                "Alright, you guys. Ready?"
                "Back! Back! Back!"
                "That had better not be what I think it is."
                "Heads up! BILE incoming!"
                "DAMMIT! I just washed this."
                "Close that door! Were you born in a ... oh, yeah, sorry, you were. My bad."
                "I hope I'm doin' this right."
                "Defibrillator here."
                "Oh, so that's what being dead feels like."
                "Ellis! ELLIS! Ellis, SWEETIE! Ellis ... Sweetie, can this wait? Hey, Ellis, this is really not the best time."
                "What are you going? GO!"
                "HEY! Hey hey hey hey! Seriously?"
                "Don't make me get ugly with you."
                "I'm jus' playin' possum."
                "This is great. No, this is great. I'm good."
                "Does my hair look good?"
                "Okay, okay ... that one hurt."
                "Where is the love? I could use some."
                "Oh, this is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening."
                "Did this ever seem like a good idea?"
                "Anyone else feel like crap right now?"
                "Sorry, guys. I can't go any faster."
                "Girl, you should have stayed at home."
                "Ow! What is this shit?"
                "Ohhh! It's on my face!"
                "Oh, what the hell is that?"
                "Coach, be nice! 'Witch.' We call her a 'Witch.'"
                "Woo! Were really doin' this!"
                "Alright. This party is over."
                "Woo we are doin' it alright."
                "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah."
                "What, we're shuttin' the door already?"
                "THAT is what we are here for."
                "Keep that up and we are outta here."
                "Come on! Hurry up!"
                "Would you hurry up?"
                "Party time!"
                "Go on. I'll keep up."
                "This is not how I wanna die."
                "Guys! I can't hang on much longer."
                "Yeah, uh, did this seem like a good idea to you at some time?"
                "Up this pipe!"
                "Er, we need to get going."
                "Hey, fat man!"
                "Hey, cooter!"
                "Hey, hee-haa!"
                "Hey, little guy."
                "Yo, young 'un."
                "Sweet Lincoln's mullet!"
                "Oh, well, this just sucks."
                "Could this really get any worse? I don't think so!"
                "Do you know what that is? I think it used to be inside o' you."
                "You go down one more time and that's it for you."
                "You coming or are you just going to lay there all day?"
                "Whatcha doin' down there? Can you man up?"
                "Somebody shut that clown up."
                "What the hell are you going out there? Get inside!"
                "Everyone, inside!"
                "Everyone in here!"
                "Hooo! Where is the love? Where is the LOVE?"
                "Hold on! I'm coming!"
                "Did we all make it? Oh, yes, we did!"
                "Oh shit. Fat guy!"
                "Heads up! GOO!"
                "Okay, I just ... did that ... "
                "Oh, it feels so wrong but it's just so RIGHT!"
                "Oh, you're a nice one. Ooh, let's see how YOU handle."
                "You want pork rinds with that?"
                "Hell, I'll do it."
                "I think I've had nightmares with this peanut."
                "Woo! YES! There's the chopper!"
                "That was almost fun."
                "Does anyone have any bugspray?"
                "Oh, no way around it. Time to get wet."
                "I have always wanted to do that."
                "Hey, okay! That wasn't so bad."
                "Oh Hell! Look at the size of THIS thing."
                "If we're all getting to know each other ... my name's Rochelle."

                Now I can't play the game with a straight face.
                When I was fifteen, my father thought I knew nothing. When I was twenty-five, I was amazed by how little he thought I'd learned in such a long time.


                • #9
                  Just wanted to give a shout out for today's comic ( Love you forever for the Babylon 5 reference.


                  • #10
                    Saw this on reddit, and the first thing I thought of was TDP.

                    Now this is how Tinder dates work


                    • #11
                      Oh honey, I don't need to break you. Your mother was kind enough to do it for me.

                      - If you like it, you have my permission to publish it as a comic and distribute it as much as you wish for profit.